Animaniacs Ep: Watch The Birdie The Warner Bros. Lot in sunny Burbank California is the focus of this little cold opening. A sunny, happy place where, as usual, the three zany Warners: Yakko, Wakko and Dot, were causing havoc around the lot with their zany brand of comedy.
They had just finished invading the set of a Channing Tatum movie (Dot's moved on from Mel Gibson after he went a bit crazy) and were escaping. However, suddenly the sky turned grey. The change in wind brought a wave of tension and uncertainty to the lot, as everyone peered up in the sky to see why the weather changed so suddenly.
"That's strange. They said we're in a heatwave," Yakko noted
A roar of thunder bellowed throughout L.A which gave everyone the feeling that this was going to be no ordinary story
Wakko whispered something in Yakko's ear. Yakko frowned at him saying, "Again? You know this joke is getting kinda old."
"Hey, when you gotta potty, you gotta potty," Wakko said folding his arms.
Dot looked up at the sky and started seeing something falling, "Hey guys, look, up in the sky. Is that rain?" Dot wondered
"Doesn't look like rain, we must be getting a hailstorm," Yakko replied.
The object wasn't raindrops or hailstones. It was perfectly clear what was falling out of the sky, were big, massive… SHARKS!
The sharks were falling to the ground bouncing off the pavement; the masses panicked and ran in terror as the unimaginable was happening. Meanwhile, the Warners were just standing there looking dumbfounded.
"This is too stupid even by our standards," Yakko said to the audience
Suddenly, a generic male character ran towards the audience and started saying some really cheesy and poorly spoken dialogue. "Hey you kids, you better get out of danger. It's not safe here."
"You got that right. Your acting is terrible," Yakko said smug
Then one of the sharks bounced off the ground and flew right and the man and the Warners. "Oh no!" the man said. "It's coming straight for us."
"You don't say." Dot said sarcastically
"Don't worry puppy children, I'll save you with THIS!" he then pulled out a chainsaw from god-knows-where and started charging at the shark.
"YAHHHHHH!" the man leapt into the air, into the shark's mouth.
The Warners cringed at the horrible sight they saw. The man and his chainsaw had been eaten
The Warners looked straight at the camera, "Can we please get out of this low budget nightmare and move on to the cartoon?" Yakko pleaded. And that's exactly what happens as we fade out to the main cartoon
Watch The Birdie
Written by Warner Guy
A white van speeds down a coastal highway, leaving the city limits of Burbank. But where exactly is this white van going and why are we so concerned with it anyway?
Eventually the white van stopped and the driver stepped out of it. The driver happened to be Thaddeus Plotz, with Ralph the Guard climbing out of the passenger seat (which caused the van almost to tip over). They opened the back door to take out a sack tied-up at the top and threw it over a very fancy brick wall. "There, when they return to the lot they'll have finally learnt how to be respectable children," Plotz asserted to himself. With that, the white van sped off back to the WB lot.
The sack started to wiggle and wobble, and then, scissors poked through from the inside, and started to cut a hole in the sack. When they hole was cut the three Warner siblings tumbled out looking confused as to the whereabouts of their location.
They looked around, as a large panning shot by the camera revealed they were on a golf course; and not just any golf course, but the prestigious Pebble Beach Golf Club.
Yakko got very annoyed, "Golf? How boring can we get?"
Dot thought about it differently, "Now come on Yakko, golf isn't really boring. It's a game of skill and finesse that is a test of patience and poise. It makes me want to break out in a cute little song"
Suddenly, Dot rushed off screen as music starts to play. Wakko looks at Yakko who shrugs his shoulders and him.
Dot then emerges again, this time in a golfing outfit (like the one from the PC game) and starts to sing a song
- I can swing with the swingers and I'm havin' a ball#
- I always go for the green and I-#
Yakko interrupts, "Ah Dot? You can't sing a song."
Dot steams up, "And why not?"
"We blew the budget on the Sharknado parody earlier."
CU: Dot's feet as she tapped her right foot.
Wakko is puzzled, "Those shark effects didn't look expensive to me."
Yakko wittily replied, "It was less expensive then the cheesy rubber shark Spielberg used."
"Well if no one is going to appreciate my song then I'm just gonna- HELLO NURSE!" Dot spotted a hunk off in the distance. The hunk glitters (thanks to a camera effect). She immediately runs in a cloud of smoke to the hunk
Suddenly, out of nowhere, Bob Hope approaches Yakko and Wakko, still standing in the same spot they had been before the song. "Hey, I tell ya, your crazy sister has got no chance against him."
"In golf?" Wakko asked
"No. In love. You see, that there's Tony Forest, but everyone calls him Leopard. He's been in some deep trouble with his former wife and he swore that he would never fall in love again. Isn't that wild?"
"Uh oh, we better save Dot then," Yakko said concerned and he and Wakko immediately set off to catch Dot
But it was too late. As Leopard went to take his tee shot on the 18th hole Dot was already staring right in front of him, which meant he couldn't take his swing.
"Um, can I help you?" Leopard asked puzzled
Dot then leapt up into his arms, "No but I can help you find the cutest girl in the world."
Leopard then struggled to push Dot off, who was clinging to his manly chest. Eventually, after a little bit, she fell off. Leopard responded to Dot, "Sorry, I'm not interested in her."
Leopard then took his tee shot and walked off. Dot said to herself, "I love when the hunks play hard-to-get." Just as Wakko and Yakko arrived Dot sped off again in a romantic skip.
"I haven't seen Dot this worked up over a guy since she bumped into Justin Timberlake," Yakko noted
"You mean last Tuesday?" Wakko replied
"Ahhhhhhhh, yeah." Yakko said. "Come on."
Leopard had ended up on the green and had about a 5-foot putt to get in the hole. He achieved that no problem. Suddenly, confetti guns blew up all over the place, showering the green with confetti.
"Congratulations!" Dot said wearing a game show outfit, "You've won the longest-putt tournament. And you're prize is… ME! (She lept into Leopard's arms again) The cutest girl in the world!"
"Ummm." Leopard got nervous and confused
"Come on. How about a kiss?" Dot then gave a big smooch on Leopards lips. Leopard then made a spewing sound and started to spit everywhere.
"What are you? Some kind of sicko!"
"No, I'm just Dot, and I'm as cute as a button too!" She grinned
"Don't you know who I am? Go away and stop doing... whatever it is your doing!" Leopard stormed off into the clubhouse. He then marched back, "And you're not cute either!"
As Leopard angrily walked away Dot ended up with big tears welling up inside her eyes as Yakko and Wakko arrived to try and make amends.
"That poor selfish man," Yakko shook his head
"I know I have an anvil in here somewhere," Wakko said searching through his gag bag.
CU: Dot's feet as they clenched tightly.
Dot is filled with rage, "Just you wait brothers. He's gonna get it (Dot took some dynamite and bombs from off screen) And I'll show no mercy! No one says I'm not cute and gets away with it!"
Bob Hope appears again. "Hey. You might wanna put that there dynamite away. I know of another way you can get even." He point to a huge sign that says: "TOMORROW: ACME PEBBLE BEACH PRO-AM"
"Well, good luck with whatever you decide. You wild crazies." Bob left the golf course.
"You know, Bob might have a point there," Yakko said with all three siblings starting to grin
"We'll teach him not to mess with Dot!" Wakko said
"Yes. And I have the perfect plan to do it," Dot said with an even bigger grin on her face
"What do you have in mind?" Yakko asked
"You'll just have to wait and see after these messages," Dot said to everyone. Including the audience.
The next day there seemed to be no sign of the Warners, or any plan of them taking revenge on Tony "Leopard" Forest. Odd, isn't it. But remember, in cartoons, timing is everything.
Leopard reached the 18th and last hole of the tournament and was three strokes in front of his nearing competitor, Robert Downy Jr., who played surprisingly well considering he was one of the celebrities.
Leopard's celebrity partner, Arnold Schwarzenegger was taking a bit of time arriving to the tee. Suddenly out of the blue, the Warners appeared right in from of him. Yakko grabbed his head and pulled it down slowly to eye level, "Hey Arnie, I hear Bruce Willis is making his own version of The Expendables"
"BRUCE WILLIS, I'LL KILL HIM! Tell Leopard I'll be back!" Arnold yelled. And as he ran off a Saturday Night Live style caption appeared at the bottom of the screen flashing, "OBVIOUS JOKE ALERT."
"Hey, it's a fan fiction. What were you expecting, original jokes?" Yakko said to the audience.
Leopard, not noticing that Arnold had left to pulverise Bruce Willis was about to take his first shot, when just as he swung a loud yell of "FORE!" broke his concentration and caused Leopard to slice the ball into the water hazard
In disbelief, his anger rose and turned in the direction where he heard the noise. Surprise, surprise, it was the Warners.
"Oooo, tough luck there Leopard, you're gonna have to take a penalty," Yakko said smirking.
"YOU! Why won't you leave me alone?" Leopard yelled.
"You seem to have a terrible sense of who you think is cute," Yakko replied.
"Grrrr. Where's Arnold so we can move on?"
"He had to leave, but we've been asked to take his place," Yakko said as the Warners grinned. "Wakko?"
Wakko saluted and grabbed a mallet from his gag bag. "Hah! He's just a kid, he'll end up in the bunker straight away," Leopard mocked.
Wakko placed his ball on the tee, took the golfing stance, wiggled his bum and swung and missed and fell down. "Hah! Told you"
"Wakko, are you OK?" Dot asked. "What happened?"
"I got distracted," he replied
Yakko, now in a police officers outfit, start tutting at Leopard, "tututut, Looks like I'm going have to issue you with a ticket for distracting other players. That'll be a one stroke penalty."
"ME! Distracting! You distracted me earlier!"
"I'll be the one issuing the tickets around here. You're lucky I don't disqualify you from the tournament," Yakko said
"You need to learn some restraint young man," Dot scolded and then, to prevent him from distracting again, the Warners put Leopard in a straightjacket
When they finished that, Wakko took his mallet and swung at the ball. This time he hit it perfectly. Now, the advantages of having a large mallet as a club is that you can hit the ball much further then a normal golf club would. The ball seemed like it sailed forever. It reached all of the way to green (which was 400 yards away) and rolled into the hole. The entire golf course went into a frenzy cheering Wakko for doing something only seen in Happy Gilmore.
Everyone seemed to forget about Leopard in his straightjacket as Wakko was lifted up by everyone and carried to the clubhouse for getting an impossible hole-in-one.
Some time later the tournament resumed as normal, with the notable absence of the Warners. Leopard managed to play the hole perfectly and landed his ball on the edge of the green, needing a 15-foot putt to win the tournament.
The air was tense as Leopard started to sweat. He slowly moved his putter back and hit the ball hard enough to reach the hole. The ball was rolling closer and closer to the hole; it looked like Leopard would win the tournament…
Then suddenly, the hole magically started to move, and move quickly, to the other side of the green. The crowd stared in disbelief and Leopard almost lost his temper. As the camera moved down below the ground, we see the reason why the hole mysteriously moved. Wakko, looking more like the gopher from Caddyshack, was using a strange device the burrow around to move the hole.
The ball was now 3-feet away from the new position of the hole. Leopard could easily put it in to force a playoff with Downey Jr. He lined the putt up and gave it a small tap. The ball got ever so close to the hole, but Wakko the Gopher subtly moved it again. Wakko popped out of the hole making gopher sounds.
The crowd cheered as for the first time in the tournament's history, a celebrity had won. Robert Downey Jr. collected his large trophy, posed with some glamorous girls for the newspaper photo and then said, "Sorry guys, but I got a job to do," activating his iron armour, flying off into the sky.
Leopard stood there in amazement, as defeat was snatched from the jaws of victory. Yakko went up to Leopard and started patting him on the back, "Don't worry Leopard, I can she why you didn't think Dot wasn't cute, she wasn't your type." And then with a smirk he continued, "But I know someone who is"
Leopard and the Warners turned to find Miley Cyrus in a pretty revealing, but still appropriate for the network censors outfit. She goes up to Leopard and says slightly seductively, "I love a man who treats me like I can't be tamed. Once you start with this wrecking ball, we can't stop."
Leopard, subconsciously breaking his 'no woman' rule, started howling like a wolf. He then yelled, "HELLLOOO NURSE!" And ran off to catch Miley, who was already halfway to the clubhouse.
"What is wrong with that man?" Wakko asked
"I don't know but now I don't like him so much," Dot replied
"Well you see Dot, sometimes a man makes mistakes in love… and then there are others that want to make those mistakes," Yakko then waves to the audience yelling, "GOODNIGHT EVERYBODY!"